Often times we use our past to determine what we are or aren't capable of.
It's where we look to find confidence in something.
Where we make decisions on our future from.
But our past is done. Our past self evolved the very next day.
Our past is just a collection of thoughts our current selves are thinking about it.
Your past cannot tell you what will come. Or what you can do or cannot do.
If 2020 has taught us anything is that what we think our future will look like may not be anything we could have ever imagined.
It's normal that we do this.
Our brain uses patterns and already formed neural pathways to inform decision making. It's just being efficient and trying to keep you safe.
It of course wants to find evidence. The only evidence it has is your past. It's the only thing that has already happened.
But everything you have ever done, you have never done before. Until you did.
Your brain, left undirected forgets that. Because now it has a long list of things you have learned and done.
But it is still as capable as it was as a baby learning to walk. Or becoming a mother. Or launching a business.
Your future is not determined by your past self.
I want to encourage you to learn the skill of borrowing from your future self and having self- confidence over regular confidence.
You can learn more about this in Episode 25: "End Self- Sabotage from Your Future Self" on the Balanced and Free Mom Boss Podcast.
You can find the link to the podcast in the profile. ⬆️...
You ever feel like you just want to hit pause for a minute even though the world keeps spinning on?
Catch your breath?
Take in the moment?
Even a pandemic that forced the world to slow down, moms seemed to have even more thrown at them.
If you feel like you really want to hit the reset button, I’ve got something good coming for you at the end of this month!
It’s gonna help you hit that reset button for yourself, even if your world around you (your kids or business) don’t seem to get the memo to slow down. 😂😂
It doesn’t matter if you don’t have time right now, feel overwhelmed or are still trying to figure out what life looks like right now- this is going to help with all of that without adding another burden to your plate!
Make sure you get in my email list so you are in the know about this new offer!
You can find a link to add yourself in my profile 💛...
Seems counter-intuitive but it really is the answer in many situations.
We unintentionally pile on things because of our thinking.
"we have to"
"we should do"
"we need to"
"they said I should /need to"
"no one else will do it"
" I'm the only who does it right"
"this is too important"
"other people take too long"
"this person does"
"I should be able to"
"it has to be done"
Our list of things to do or expectations grows with each thought.
How do you combat this?
Also with your thinking.
Episode 28: "Essentialism and Figuring Out What You Should Be Doing" on the Balanced and Free Mom Boss Podcast
dives deeper into this topic. You can find the link to listen to the podcast at the link in the profile....
There is nothing wrong with creating free time for yourself
or saying no to something
or spending your time and energy intentionally.
Staying busy is not the sign of success or value.
Avoiding ourselves by staying busy or pushing ourselves to the point of burn out to try and achieve something is what will break you.
You can learn a little more on how you can open yourself to taking a break if you need it or even before you need it without the guilt or falling behind on your to do list on my podcast:
The Balanced and Free Mom Boss
Episodes 27 - 29 are great episodes to listen to on this particular topic!
Grab the link to the podcast right in my bio, or do a quick search for
Balanced and Free Mom Boss wherever you listen to your podcasts.
If this post resonated with you, you will LOVE the podcast!...
You are allowed to say no to expectations.
You are allowed to say no to new fads, trends or platforms.
You are allowed to say no to the client that just isn't a good fit.
You are allowed to say no to business models that don't work for you
parenting styles that don't align with you
advice given ( even if you asked for it)
you are even allowed to say no to yourself.
No when you want to quit, or give in.
No when you want to make something harder on yourself later by avoiding it right now.
You can so no to the hustle and the grind.
And you know what?
You can say "NO" and still be wildly successful (in fact you may find that you are more so)
you can still be an amazing mom, wife, woman...
and you just might find that saying no makes you more of the person that you truly want to be. ♥️
For more on this topic and many more- that give support for mom entrepreneurs running business from home
🎙️ the Balanced and Free Mom Boss Podcast.
Head to the profile to grab the link!...
It doesn't matter if you are moving quickly if you are headed in the wrong direction.
It will take you longer when you have to turn back around.
Take a minute to know where you are going and why you want to get there.
What are trying to achieve or accomplish?
Is the way that you are going about trying to do that efficient and sustainable?
Are your actions intentional and purposeful or are they just meant to make you feel busy and productive?
Is there an easier way to get where you want to be?
A lot of times when I coach people the very first step is just really understanding what it is that they are trying to achieve.
Most don't really know. We have all just gotten busy in motherhood and entrepreneurship that the goal becomes just keeping our head above water.
But is that really a goal? Is that a strategy? Or is it just a survival tactic that we hope will work long enough that we can catch our breath?
If you have felt the hustle, the burn out, the metaphorical drowning - I want to invite you to slow down for second and ask yourself what all the action you are taking or emotional and mental energy that you are expending trying to get you toward?
And then ask yourself if it's getting you closer, or actually moving you further away from what you actually want?
You can dive into topics like these and more that have to do with the juggle and the struggle of balancing motherhood and entrepreneurship from home at
🎙️ the Balanced and Free Mom Boss Podcast.
The link to the podcast in in the profile bio or you can do a search for the name Balanced and Free Mom Boss wherever you listen to you podcasts.
Seems like an innocent thought, but I often see it used as a way to hold ourselves back.
When something feels hard.
When we are afraid to commit.
When we are believing growth or change will take away from our family.
When we are just plain tired and don't want to do something.
All of the sudden listening to little Johnny speak at nauseum about all the different avengers powers feels like a "good mom" badge to be earned and takes first priority and that big work project can wait.
In fact there is probably a load of laundry you should tackle before that, and Jane needs new ballet slippers. Probably should search online for those too before you start that work project...
See where I am going here?
Now, let me be clear. I personally believe family is my highest priority. That is not what is in question here.
But we gotta check ourselves and be honest when we are using them to avoid being uncomfortable in other areas of our life and business.
If our family really is our greatest priority, then is it fair to use them as a scapegoat to hold ourselves back?
You get decide that one for you. I personally found I had sneaky resentment anytime I told myself I couldn’t do something because of my kids or role as mom. It happens for clients I’ve coached as well.
If you think you may have unintentionally been doing this at times (heck who hasn't - you're perfectly normal)
The Balanced and Free Mom Boss Podcast dives deeper into topics like this and is all about balancing the role as mom, home and business owner.
You can give it a listen at the link in the profile or wherever you listen to your podcasts....
It seems pretty straightforward right?
Yet so many mom entrepreneurs start off with this as the main reason they choose to build businesses from home, only to be overwhelmed scratching their heads wondering where it all went wrong.
When did they lose themselves to demands of being a mom and a business owner.
When did the two worlds merge together in an inter twined mess of non stop meeting of demands and to-do lists?
When did the mental and emotional load become unbearable and exhausting?
When did it start where all you do is "do" and somehow it still never seems to be "enough" There is still something that fell through the cracks or left unattended.
And it seems the message and answer is " you need to do more if you want to be..." fill in the blank
a good mom
for your kids to be healthy and happy
for your business to thrive, grow or scale
hit your revenue goal
It's okay if you find yourself here and didn't really ever want to be.
I can help you get your dream back of raising your family and your business with the flexibility and ease that you dreamed of. With the income you desire. With the time you thought you would have. To spend how you want, not how others demand of it from you.
If you are like YES this is me when you were reading this caption, then I have got something coming your way soon that you are going to want to be a part of!
Grab a spot on my email list so you are notified before everyone else as well as be eligible for the best bonus!! (Trust me- you any this bonus!)
Link to sign up is in my profile. See you there!...
Boundaries are so important.
But many people don't have them in place or really even truly understand what a real boundary is.
Hint: It's not telling someone they need to respect and honor your boundary.
That's not a boundary. That is a request. That you have no control over whether or not they honor it.
You are still at their mercy and so are your emotions and time.
Want to learn what a true boundary is and how to use them in our lives and businesses to better love and serve those we care about?
Check out Episode 6: " Boundaries Between Home Life and Running a Business" on the Balanced and Free Mom Boss Podcast
Link to podcast is in the profile. ⬆️ Or you can search the show name wherever you listen to your podcasts....
A real conversation I had.
" Well, I am really good at putting things in my phone calendar... I just forget to look at my calendar."
😆 I'm willing to bet you've been able to relate to that once or twice. I think we all can.
Just get going on your day and lose track of time or direction.
Reacting to whatever comes up.
I know I used to. 🙋♀️
No ones systems or scheduling or hacks seemed to work for all the areas that I needed to account for as a mom running a business from home.
Structure, but with flexibility. Commitment with compassion.
So I tweaked and combined the best of the best systems and scheduling tips from the entrepreneur gurus and created my own.
Specifically for mom entrepreneurs.
Sprinkle in some of the best mindset tools out there and we've got ourselves a tailor made system for success.
Being effective, efficient and enjoying it in the process. With plenty of time for myself and quality family time.
If you want to learn how to do this, like many mom entrepreneurs already have- DM me to chat....
It's not you. Or your abilities. It's your thinking.
What you think you could or SHOULD be able to do in any given time.
And you aren't alone.
All or nothing cycles, lofty expectations and over-estimating our short term are all normal and common cycles mom and especially entrepreneurs find themselves in.
You can change your thinking.
You are cut out for this.
Come check out the Balanced and Free Mom Boss Podcast as dive into gaining some awareness as to why we do this and what we can do about it.
Each episode is
designed specifically for mom entrepreneurs.
Link to join is in the profile bio. See you in there!...
⬆️I hear this one a lot.
Balance for mom entrepreneurs is often compared to "juggling it all"
Knowing when to set down certain balls and pick up others.
But I just want to gracefully disagree. Completely.
Balance is not juggling. You know what is juggling?
Throwing a bunch of stuff in the air at the same time and hoping you catch it and keep a rhythm. But only achievable if you happen to be an expert juggler.
And hoping to achieve balance through juggling is setting yourself up for failure.
In contrast, balance is a carefully curating what can be carried while we continue to move forward.
Juggling keeps our eyes fixated on what’s in the air standing in one spot. Stuck.
Balance allows us to adjust and steady ourselves all while keeping our gaze forward, focused and moving forward.
(think walking on a balance beam, an unsteady object or in a straight line)
It accounts for our own abilities.
You can adjust as needed.
No expert juggling skills required.
No perfectly executed rhythm.
An imperfect wobble forward still gets you where you want to be.
So if you've been juggling and you are ready for balance come join me for a
30 Day Balance Reboot.
My new 30 Day challenge that gets you moving in the direction you want to be going without the juggling act.
You can sign up to be notified when it opens at the link in my profile. ...
I was SOOOO guilty of this a few years ago!
Up late "working" binge watching tv and relishing in not being needed, touched or talked to. Snacking and fighting to keep my eyes open and my mind focused on my work.
Only to be exhausted and practically useless the next morning from the human alarm clocks.
I get it. I 100% get it.
And I am not saying that you shouldn't do this if this truly works for you.
But be honest with yourself. Is it really working for you?
Are you dragging and cranky and not on your game the next day?
Are you stressed and overwhelmed?
There are lots of ways to feel better and have intentional YOU time.
Where you can hear yourself think and not be touched.
And even veg if you want. Without sacrificing your ability to function the way you want the next day.
You can learn some ways to combat this and create intentional time for yourself
on the Balanced and Free Mom Boss Podcast
to dive deeper into this topic and learn some ways you can get some peace without sacrificing your sanity.
The link to the podcast can be found in my profile.
Louder for the mom entrepreneurs in the back!!
You have kids.
You run a home based business.
And a home.
With little humans there.
At the same time.
You are probably also a school house right now.
Trying to match your business model with the 50+ yr old male entrepreneur who has been hustling and grinding for the last two decades away from home isn't doing you any favors.
Nor is taking in every bit of advice on what you "should" be doing in your day and business as gospel truth and the "way" to your dreams.
No girl. Your life is already happening. Honor it.
Scheduling yourself or expecting things to be done like you are someone else living a different life isn't helping you.
Now you might say, but I'm trying to work toward my life looking different, shouldn't I be taking action like I am that person?
Unless that life doesn't include your family and home or your business, then pretending it doesn't when you plan your business model and daily schedules isn't setting you up for that future you want.
It either keeps you giving up on your business because it doesn't align with family life, or giving up on your family while building up your business.
Now, maybe that's not a problem for you, but I am guessing it wasn't what you originally signed up for.
Business and being a mom only compete and sacrifice each other when we don't build lives and businesses that compliment each other.
I teach mom entrepreneurs how to do just this. In a way that aligns with them, their life, their goals. In real sustainable, actionable ways.
DM if you would like to learn more....
Just your friendly reminder.
Not sure where we got this idea that we had to beat ourselves up in order to kick our butts into gear to do what we really want to do, but lets just bury it.
Cause it's not true.
In fact the opposite is true.
You are human.
Humans generally don't want to do things that feel hard. Or uncomfortable or maybe painful.
We are literally designed this way on purpose!
So when your brain serves you up excuses or judgments about yourself, just notice them.
Notice your brain doing what it is designed to do.
Then remind it that the real pain and discomfort comes from dreams not realized and staying stuck and that it's not avoiding pain, it's just prolonging it.
Then do what you committed to yourself to do and remind yourself you are already good enough and worthy as is.
You just want the result of growth. No biggie....
Some moms think they just can't be consistent. No matter how hard they try.
They believe they just lack motivation, follow through...
They just aren't a "committed person" or a "consistent person"
Even if they really want whatever they're working towards.
They believe life is just too unpredictable for consistency and they are just too tired. I mean have you met a toddler?
But that isn't necessarily the reason.
And there is nothing wrong with you if you have had trouble with consistency before.
If you want to understand more about why we do these things and what you can do to help yourself overcome inconsistency, or just to make it easier on yourself...
the Balanced and Free Mom Boss Podcast is a great resource for that.
P.S. Episodes 20, and 24-29 are all great episodes to dive into.
Link to podcast is in the profile. ⬆️...
One of the things I teach my clients is intentional flexibility.
This is different approach to flexibility than I see often taught.
It's not a free pass to get out of doing something we didn't really want to do.
Or when we didn't plan well.
It's also not beating ourselves up when things don't happen quite like we had planned.
I truly believe that mom entrepreneurs play by a different set of rules.
One where intentional flexibility is baked in and accounted for.
Where we can honor ourselves and our plans, but also allow for life to happen unexpectedly. And have compassion for ourselves and others when it does.
Because you never know when a toddler is going to throw a 45 minute fit because they don't like the color blue anymore.
It's not an excuse when things feel hard.
And it's never a reason to beat yourself up.
If want to learn more about intentional flexibility and what it really is and how to use it DM me and we can chat....
I'd known what it was for awhile, but I didn't know it had a name until a few months ago.
It's the belief that everything should be positive and feel good all the time.
It's the rainbow band-aid slapped over a gaping wound.
It's the urgency to rush out of negative emotion. To pretend it's not there or at least brush past it quickly to something better - quickly.
At a hard time in my life, I had a friend who while well intentioned wanted and needed me to be positive all the time.
She would metaphorically try to slap rainbow band aids on me and be upset with me when it didn't "fix" me.
She wanted to be the one to fix me.
I resented her thinking I needed fixing.
The friendship wasn’t healthy and neither of us actually felt very positive about each other 😣 irony.
So what WAS the answer?
Fully processing the negative. Allowing it without resistance. Then opening up to the fact that positive and negative can and do co-exist.
And ignoring, indulging or resisting either just make it all that more intense. That's when we ride an emotional roller coaster.
You can love motherhood and still want to be alone.
You can be happy with what you have and still desire more.
You can be happy and sad - at the same time.
You are human. It's meant to be this way. Nothing has gone wrong....