I bet the title of this blog caught your eye right? Because guilt is REAL and it’s a common feeling for moms. I know that I have felt it in the past and I’m sure you have too. Does this sound familiar? You are absolutely killing it at work, hitting an all time high sales month, posting to social media regularly and knocking projects out left and right…only to have guilt because you think that your spouse is doing more than their fair share of cooking and cleaning or you completely zoned out during family time watching Frozen 2 because you were messaging clients.
Or you may be experiencing the total opposite! You may have tried out tons of new and fun Pinterest crafts with the kids, cooked your world famous dinner for everyone, and had plenty of laughs during family game night…only to feel that pang of guilt because you’re coming up on work deadlines and have an email inbox that has slowly overflowed while you were perfecting your banana bread recipe.
Do either of these situations sound familiar? Yup, it’s common for mom entrepreneurs. Running a business from home can sometimes mean it all melds together in a messy mix of roles all the time. It can be overwhelming at times to feel like you have to be something to everyone, when really you just want a break to be you. But I have a (not so) secret to tell you. You don’t have to feel guilty if you don’t want to.
You are a human being. An individual. A working woman. A mom. A daughter. A sister. A spouse. A friend. This list goes on and on. You are human just like everyone else. Not only do you deserve a break but you need guilt free intentional downtime to recharge. Ready for secret number two? Or maybe it’s more of a truth bomb…
You are only feeling guilty because there is a thought or belief that you have somewhere that you should be doing more. Or that you aren’t good enough, or that it’s your responsibility to do it all or that you aren’t able to get help or take a break. Maybe you are worried that you aren’t doing it right or you are failing at something. But here is the thing, those are just thoughts. They aren’t facts. Those thoughts and beliefs are keeping you stuck and holding you back from all that is truly available to you.
A huge part of getting the break you deserve is knowing what your priorities are and essential things that you need to do in order to achieve your goals. NOT all the things . We are looking for the essentials here. When you know that, the next part is being willing to let go of what is not a priority or essential and/or willing to find help in whatever way that works for you. This doesn’t mean you have to have a ton of cash flow to hire a bunch of people or let go of doing the things you enjoy or are important to you to get more time. But it will allow you to see what is truly necessary and be honest about where you would like and need help. Even if that help is something simple like auto delivered groceries from amazon.
Now I know it can be hard to reach out and ask for help! But hear me out. No one ever looks at a successful CEO of a company and thinks “Well if he is truly successful he should clean his own house, do all of his own marketing, create his own products, care for his own lawn, manage his own finances, and cook his own dinner each night. And he better have his kids with him at work.” NO. We would never say that! And why not? Because it’s setting a ridiculously high standard that is not expected or truly even achievable. But yet here we are holding ourselves to that unrealistic standard.
Girl, I’m gonna level with you. It’s time to knock it off. It’s time to give yourself grace and allow yourself a guilt free break. You do not have to do it all, nor should you. This is where knowing what your priorities are, knowing what is essential to your goals are and being willing to delegate and ask for help. Guilt free. Think about the thought you think the most that causes you the most guilt or stress. Is it the fact that believe you can never fully give yourself work hours because you have the kids with you during the day? There are ways to manage that thought and re-work it. When you do that you can be open to solutions, instead of just feeling stuck and guilty. Maybe it means adjusting work hours to flow better with your household. Maybe it’s hiring a part time nanny to be with the kids even for a few hours each morning so you have uninterrupted work time! Or a child swap a couple days with another mom entrepreneur. Maybe it’s even just getting more focused and intentional and getting more done in less time. ( I have a free guide that can help you with this here)
Do you dread planning out social media each week and want to pull your hair out rather than write captions? Ask yourself, is this essential to my business? If it’s a yes, then consider different solutions. Like planning your content ahead of time, or hiring a social media manager to take that task off of your hands! If it’s a no, then maybe you don’t need to be worrying about it at all. Your choice.
It’s helpful to start thinking of asking for help as outsourcing. You outsource tasks to other professionals so that you can focus your energy and time on what you do best in your business and what is most important to you as a mom and woman. This will help you thrive in your professional and personal life. You could also consider hiring a coach to help you navigate these areas in your life and business. There are lots of business coaches, mom coaches etc. I happen to love my coaching program for both. (Shameless plug!) But really, this is what I do all day. This is how I help moms like you create that joy and balance in their lives and businesses – guilt free. It’s my own passion, because I know just how transformative it really is. If you are ready for that step you can join here.
Finally, schedule time for yourself every single day. And I don’t mean just the necessities of shower time and bedtime. Even if it’s just 10 minutes to spend on thought work, take a walk or hide in a closet with some chocolate. Do something intentional for yourself for your well being.
Remember, Guilt is an optional feeling.