I have three kids. A husband. A dog. A house. I also have a business.
Those three kids have their own schedules, goals, dreams, desires and things they expect and want from me. Like rides, attention, emotional support, homework help, food made for them etc.
My husband has his own schedule, goals, dreams and things he expects and would like from me. It’s a long list.
My dog doesn’t have his own schedule (that would be weird) but he does want attention, play time, walks, prefers to have food and water and belly rubs. He also has a terrible habit of eating something he shouldn’t and vomiting and expects me to clean up. He doesn’t even have the decency to give a girl a heads up.
My house has lots of rooms. My house is lazy. It does nothing but keep my family warm and dry and wants me to do all the work at keeping it clean, organized and running smoothly. It also has the audacity of breaking down on me every now and then with no warning.
My business has clients, and social media content, and emails, and books, and financial reports, and ads and funnels, and webinars, and content videos, and masterminds, speaking engagements, networking events and deadlines. It’s a needy little thing.
Then there is me. I’ve got lots of goals and dreams and things I expect from myself. Like regular exercise, 8 hours of sleep, keeping up on hobbies, weekly yoga, skin care routine, time with my friends, regular vacations and adventures, finally becoming fluent in french, eating healthy and not over eating, read all the books I want to get to, WRITE a book, build my own home, volunteer at church, start a charity…
Well crap. Turns out I’m the neediest of them all.
Here’s the thing – none of this causes me overwhelm or stress. I’m not a busy person.
I have a clean and organized house. A good relationship with my husband ( even when challenging things arise). A good relationship with my kids. My kids are involved in things they love and are growing and learning. The best relationship with my dog ( I am his favorite). I have amazing clients. I get to help them achieve their goals and dreams. A business that I love to work in and on. I have financial freedom and I am contributing and growing myself at the same time. I take care of my self regularly. Vacation frequently. Have great friendships. You get the picture.
It’s not because I am a special snowflake. There is nothing special about me, my family or my circumstances.
I used to be miserable. Overwhelmed. Resentful. Even angry.
Then I learned something that changed everything. An important distinction that opened up so much possibility for me.
Everything outside of me was neutral. My kids, husband, home, business, even my own actions and results. It had no power to make me feel anything. What I was THINKING about all those things was what caused my feelings. What I was making my actions and results and what others did or didn’t do mean ABOUT ME – caused my negative feelings. Believing that my business should be different, my family should be different, that I was responsible for everything – that was what made me miserable. Thoughts and beliefs like “ I have to do everything. “ “ No one appreciates how much I do for them” “ I can’t do what I really want or be me because I have to do xyz and be xzy for everyone else.”
Once I learned how to take responsibility for how I was feeling, I was able to take all the power back to create how I truly wanted to feel. No one else or anything else outside of me changed, yet my entire life changed.
Your current thinking is always what is creating your current life.
What are you thinking about your current circumstances? What is it creating? Who or what are you giving responsibility to in order to feel how you want to feel?