For stay at home mom entrepreneurs most of us started our businesses so that we could continue contributing and growing financially while still being the primary caregiver for our children. Some of us because we were looking for more personal enjoyment or more passion while we were staying at home and raising our babies.
While most find that it gives them that flexibility, more often than not mom entrepreneurs find themselves juggling two demanding worlds at the same time. In fact in recent studies, 78% of mom entrepreneurs stated they enjoyed the flexibility it gave them vs traditional jobs, but over 58% stated they had less time and were more overwhelmed.
While both roles can be fulfilling they can also be the thing that weighs them down by the demands and seemingly never ending things to do.
One of the things I hear often as someone who coaches mom entrepreneurs is how they didn’t even think balance was possible.
That there were ways to make things a little stressful and more controlled, but balance? That was something they were always searching for and never quite able to obtain.
I always told them that is because the worlds way of achieving balance is backwards. We try to get it by controlling what happens outside of us.
I want you to imagine for a second that you are baking a cake. You’ve got the ingredients all mixed up, the batter is in the pans and you pop it in the oven. Then you head over to your thermostat on your house and you turn on your heater to your house. Instead of the oven.
You turn the heat up real high. Theory being that if you get your kitchen hot enough, the cake will bake.
Ridiculous right? We can easily see why this won’t work. The heat will never be enough to bake the cake, and the heat is coming from the wrong source. You are trying to bake the cake from the outside in, instead of from the inside of the oven.
This is how the world teaches us to create balance. Perfectly crafted calendars and schedules. Management apps. Do more, just do it more organized.
It’s doesn’t work.
Thinking you can create balance just through systems and calendars is like trying to bake a cake by heating your house instead of the oven. It will never be enough and it’s coming from the wrong source.
Trying to fix an internal problem with an external solution is never as effective as we hope. (If at all)
The worlds solution to imbalance is outward in.
Control the external to feel more control internally.
Thats not the answer.
It’s not even possible. The only thing any of us truly have control over in this world is ourselves. We don’t actually have control over things outside of us.
We have to learn how to create balance internally in any circumstance in order for our external to start matching.
Do calendars and systems help? Yes.
Just like heat bakes.
But thinking you can force your external world into balance so that you can feel internally balanced is the same as thinking if you just heat your house enough the cake will eventually bake.
You could live your whole life by a rigid calendar or system and still feel out of control and chaotic inside.
You can live in external chaos and feel peace, calm and confidence.
When we create systems and calendars from a place of internal balance and alignment with what we truly want for our lives, we are so much more effective and they become a helpful tool rather than something else to feel like we are failing at and not measuring up to.
So what is the answer to true balance as a mom entrepreneur? It’s addressing the internal first, THEN creating a framework and system that supports the life you truly want to live.
- Identify the mindset keeping you stuck
- Identify what you truly want and what is most important
- Build your life and business to compliment eachother
- Create systems that support steps 2 & 3
You don’t have to do it all. In fact in order to have real balance – trying to do it all will be the thing that keeps you from the true enjoyment you seek.